Reformatting My Thoughts

I'm done crying. For the time being, anyway.

I can't do or say anything more than I have said. I've spoken to Jo on the phone a few times, cried, wailed, whined and pleaded my case, so now there is nothing else I can do. She knows how I feel, and I can't do anything else, but am fairly certain she's made up her mind once and for all.

She might wake up and realised what she's done. She could change her mind in the next few days, but I am not going to count on it.

I'm not being defeatest, I am being realistic. I can't dwell on the what-if's, mights and maybes. If she changes her mind soon, great, but I can't do it for her.

As it stands, the house is mine - we just have to sort bills, stuff and what not. The house and everything in it has always been "ours" so doing the "yours and mine" stuff isn't going to be easy. I'm getting Jaysen from school today (Thursday) and keeping him through till Sunday. Jo is going to come over Saturday so we can talk.

I assume her parents are going to help her out with a new place, but I don't know if she's going to want stuff from here - the kids will be here as much as they are with Jo, so I'll need everything to sort stuff out.

Still, I've made peace with Whoever or Whatever it is out there that has it in for me. Jo has made her decision, it's not right or fair on anyone going through life living a lie. I don't hate her - hell, I love everything about her - and have to live by the saying, If you love something, set it free.

Cheesey and Cliqued I know.

I will hold my head up, see what life is going to throw at me, and carry on life as best I can.

Thank you to everyone that has messaged, mailed, text and everything else. I've not replied yet, I will do that tomorrow.

And mum, if you're reading this, no, I won't kill myself.

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7 Responses to “Reformatting My Thoughts”

DriedPapercutsAndChickens said...

love ya' Dan

Anonymous said...

Love ya Dan. When you want to talk we are here for you.
Kathy

Mousie said...

Thinkin' of you Dan.

Hang in there xx

Nancy said...

I'm just stunned. Jess didn't sleep at all Tues nite - I mean not one bit - so we spent today sleeping and trying to get her to bed tonight. I just now read what has happened.

I'm a hopeless romantic and of course I hope that you and Jo are able to make things work - but I also know that's not always possible.

My heart goes out to you, little brother. I'm here if you need me.

(((hugs)))
ME

debbie said...

Oh Honey,, Glad to see you have posted been so worried today for you and Jo, I hope its a case of time appart may heal you both.. but what ever will be will be.. I am sure you can both do this and be the very best of friends too, still here for you too..

So pleased with what you wrote to mum..

Claire said...

Dan, I'm so sorry - I'd not checked your blog for a couple of days so had no idea until now.

No matter what happens (be it you and Jo fix things or decide to part indefinitely), I hope that your troubles are resolved in a way that will ultimately leave you both happy and your children settled and seeing you both regularly.

There's nothing I can say to help, but I just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you all during this rotten time.

Wishing the best for you and your family, mate.

Claire

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

OMG.. I've just been going thru some of your posts..
I'm in shock...