Scaring The Piss Out Of Someone

I am a complete bastard. I know this full well, and I suspect there may be one or two of you that have an inkling I am not telling fibs. Normally, the kids are on the receiving end of my Complete-And-Utter-Bastardness - either pranks, jokes, shocks, surprises...

But not always. Especially now I don't have them over the weekends. No, my bastardness, it would seem, needs an outlet.

Conveniently enough, last night Ruth had me over for dinner (again, bless her). While shopping the other day, I bought a movie for £2. Yes, a DVD for two british pounds. That didn't bode well, but, you know, it was two quid.

It was that or a slab of chocolate ;)

Anyway, this movie, 1408, is a Stephen King story adapted to the silver screen. And, did I mention, it was only £2. So I took it with me last night to watch with Ruth once the girls were in bed. In true psychological horror themes, there were lots of "BOO!" moments throughout the movie, and bless Ruth, she's not the bravest of people. Covered her face at suspected scary bits, jolted the sofa when caught out...

About halfway through, she needed to go to the loo, so she hit pause and trundled upstairs. She was nervy, but holding it together... Of course, with her being of a nervous disposition, like any true friend, I hid in her dark kitchen that she had to pass by. When she set foot into the hall way, I stepped out and BLARGLED! her.

It was a good job she'd just been to the toilet. Her heart stopped, the colour drained from her face, and she lashed out slappy-slapping me ineffectively.

Me, of course, being ever-so-concerned, died in a fit of apoplexy - I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. She even used the Unholiest of Unholy word at me, the one that starts with a C...

After that, her "nervous disposition" turned into full blown Heebee Jeebies. She was completely freaked out, and the next two toilet runs, I had to go upstairs and wait on the landing.

I was set to leave her place at about 1am, but she opted to put on some Police Crime type programs that we tend to watch a lot, and convinced me to stay "a while longer". I didn't leave till after 4am.

And I'm still chuckling now.

For the record, buying a movie for £2 is, as it sounds, a bad idea. Like most Stephen King movies, 1408 started well, was filled with twists and turns - but you can spot the exact moment he got bored and just tried writing for the horror-value. It went from dark, sinister psychological scary film, to "bet this happens... there, told ya." Fair play to John Cusak though, for being solo throughout most of the movie. I'm going to have a poke around and see if I can find the book version of it, but the DVD... Well, I've let Ruth have it.

Still, at least she didn't wet herself too badly.