A Shock Twist
Having just finished Om Nom Nomming the last of the Honey Roast Peanuts from Crimbo (burp and, indeed, belch) I was sat idly drinking my coffee when my eye fell upon the nuts container.
*ahem* That's What She Said... *ahem*
But anyway, I ALWAYS get a kick out of this crap.
So, here we have what I have been eating from. No, I didn't eat the entire tub in one sitting thank you.
Now, aside from making a smirky, cheap joke at the top line (Followed by another That's What She Said) we can safely assume that these are, indeed, nuts. Peanuts, in fact, of the Honey Roast variety. Look, there's even a picture of them.
So now let us turn the tin around and look at the back.
In a case of PURE redundancy, or as I like to call it, The Threat Of Being Sued By Some Twat, they have listed the ingredients with the title "Honey Roast Peanuts" all in capitals - you know, reinforcing the point that you are eating peanut, that have been roasted. In honey. Then the actual Shit in the Tin. First off, Peanuts. Wow. I have to admit, I am SHOCKED to find peanuts in a tin marked like this. Scan through - yep, there it is, honey. Honey is in there too. Then random shit.
But wait - the last two lines! This tin contains PEANUTS?! Double You Tee Eff?! And again, it's in big black bold capital letters. And the second line.
Wait for it..
Holy nutty shit Batman! The tin marked NUTS and Peanuts and with Peanuts in the ingredients and a big CONTAINS PEANUTS label complete with a PICTURE of the little choke-hazard bastards... They STILL feel the need to warn you that it contains Nuts and/or Peanuts!
Seriously, people, if you are allergic to something like Peanuts, would you first off pick up a tin with a picture of them? Would you pick up a tin that reads "Best Quality Nuts" or even "Honey Roast Peanuts"
WHY do we have such pointless, banal things in the world? Now, were this a tin of Pure Plain Chocolate, BUT the shock twist was a peanut slap-bang in the middle of each piece of chocolate, fair enough, warn away. But This.Is.A.Tin.Of.Peanuts.
The people that don't understand this are the ones that shouldn't be allowed out unsupervised. And if they know they have an allergy and still eat something marked like this tin, they should have their epi-pen taken away from them.