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If there is one "invention" kicking around the planet that I no longer really get, it has to be Newspapers.

Yes, it's going to be one of those drug-addled, pain-induced, half-asleep Dan Rambling Posts.

But, honestly, can anyone tell me the point of a newspaper? In this day and age, when by rights we should all have Robo-Waiters in our houses, why do we feel the need to print many tons of shit onto paper every single day, only for it to be shredded and binned the day after?

OK, some of you probably use it for Rabbit Hutches or Puppy Training or whatever.

Here's my train of thought... The whole world is pretty much connected by wires, satellites, pipes, tubes and nosey neighbours. Anything happening pretty much anywhere in the world is transmitted within minutes of it happening. Then the different agencies keep everyone up to date, which is filtered through the 24 hour News Channels, and drizzles down to the hourly Radio News updates, and last but not least, the normal TV Channels with their evening news programs.

Then, in the dead of night, someone decides which news stories of the day were the big ones, and prints them millions of times on bits of paper, bundles it together, and in the early hours of the morning, it arrives at the news agents for you to buy.

And read - on paper - what happened in the world yesterday.

You're reading YESTERDAYS news.

Some of the papers have "experts" putting their two-pence of thoughts into the pot, talking about what happened yesterday, and various columnists write down their own personal views... And the adverts - holy hell can they cram many more in there?! And finally, you get to the back, read about yesterdays sporting events, and you're done.

You might do the crossword.

That bundle of paper then ends up either as kindling, in a recycling bin, or being pooped, pee'd or painted on.

Ooh or wrapping someones fragile stuff for a house move.

These last things are secondary to the purpose of the actual NEWSpaper.

So, what is the point? How many people do not own a TV, or even a sodding radio to hear the days events? Most people - even pensioners now - have digital TV, which comes with fancy fangled 24-hour news channels. Most people - even pensioners - have radios to listen to the news.

"But the deaf people -" shuddup. Subtitles. ALL the news channels have subtitles.

Taking pensioners out of the equation, how many house do not have Internet access? Even basic Internet service with limits and stuff, you still have access to every single news agency on the planet. Failing THAT, you have access to every single radio station on the planet.

And let us not forget how many people have something they can hold in one hand to connect to the Internet and read the news on... Phones, Tablets, E-readers, even some new hand-held gaming consoles. Most people are connected to the net in some way or another.

So WHY do we have newspapers? What benefit is there to reading yesterdays news? Do people ignore the news ALL DAY, tell people not to spoil it for them, and then catch up with it all the day AFTER??

And let us not forget how many millions of tons of paper are used every day to print the old news on... Granted, a lot of it might be recycled, but surely we'd be better off reusing that paper elsewhere? Or reducing costs overall by not having to recycle it in the first place?

Maybe it's the personal ads in the back? "SWM looking for Desperate Woman Reading The Paper" But again, surely the Internet is better for that?  Maybe it's the For Sale stuff in there? But again - Internet! Sexy-Time-Ladies for £1.90 a minute phone calls? INTERNET! Plus - on the Internet, you get video chat with the Sexy-Time-Ladies.

And if it's the advertise you like, just use Internet Explorer, and you will have all the adverts and pop ups you could dream of.

So someone, please, tell me the virtues of buying a newspaper every single day. Tell me why you spend money out when you have access to every news story just a click of a button or on-switch away.


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