Politically Correctedness...

What a load of bollocks. There, I said it - and in a non-PC way of course.

This country - and I suspect others in the world - are bending over backwards for the sake of people they perceive will be offended by certain things. I mean, grow a spine you lot.

Take todays example. A nursery in Oxfordshire have re-worded a classic nursery rhyme:

Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep,
Have you any wool.

I kid you not. Why? Because black people might (key word, MIGHT) be offended by it. No specific complaints, no anti-racism marches, just perceived worry. Oh, and they've also changed "Humpty Dumpty" so that when he falls, he DOESN'T get broken. YAY! Now kids will think that falling off a wall is a good thing.

Well, bollocks to them. I will sing "Baa Baa Black Sheep" as much as I like. I'm NOT racist, I'm only sexist in a comedy stance, and I am certainly not discriminatory against anyone. OK, OK, OLD people deserve to be mocked. But that's not the issue.

Give it time, they will strip the nursery rhyme completely.

• Baa baa black sheep: Obviously racist and changed.
• Have you any wool: Well, this discriminates against non-wool-bearing creatures. And he/she didn't say please.
  
• Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full: Sir? Clear sexism, out it goes. And they don't have to use bags, so that can go as well.
• One for the master: Master?! Such sexism
• One for the dame: Dame!?
• One for the little boy: Little boy? How about the little girl... Out out out.
• Who lives down the lane: What about the people living on streets, roads, corners - it's lane'ist.

And it doesn't stop there - we can't call people certain names, use certain words, can't even refer to certain parts of hardware connectors anymore. It's even prevalent at Jaysens school. They - like all other schools - have sports day. A chance for the fast fit kids (Jaysen) to whizz around, win races, get certificates, be proud, and the fat lazy kids (me) to get a note from mum. Not any more, no no! NOW, they race against one another, they win races - BUT they are all winners!

They are not allowed to compete against one another - even with board games or card games! They are ALL winners! Doesn't seem so bad eh? This is preparing our kids for the future in the "Real World"(tm). A real world where you might not get a job because someone was better, might not win a contract because someone was better.

At Christmas, we were at Jo's parents playing board games (as we do), and Jaysen is now old enough to join in on some of them. But, because of the "You're all winners" aspect of school, he didn't understand why he lost, and why he didn't get anything. He lost, and was effectively out of the game - sure I gave him my parts, but he could not grasp the fact he "lost" and mummy "won". He was really upset (I mean, we had tears!). And it's not just that he was being a whiney little kid - Jaysen plays with a few other friends from class, and if they play games here and lose, they get all upset.

These kids aren't going to grow up to be well adjusted citizens - these are the postman with guns of our future.

Jaysen English, Prime Minister for England, broke down in tears today, when the Middle East published a "We Win" slogan on their newspapers. During a press conference, news reporters also started to cry when one journalist was asked for his question ahead of the others.

Pah, I knew I should have steered clear of the news today. Grouchy Dan to the rescue.