Weather - Englands Achilles Heel

If you live in England, you know damn well what I am about to rant about. If you happen to read news from the UK, then you probably know. If you know someone over here that you've already spoken to, then you most certainly know what I am about to rant about...

Welcome to England chaps. It's February. Winter. Cold. Why the buggery does this country go mental over snow, wind, rain, fog, heat and any other kind of weather? Last night, between 4am and 6am, the heavens opened and the country was blanketed in wet snow. Not fluffy, light powder, but wet snow. And the media went mad, the roads and airports went mad, schools went mad - and on and on.

Here in Basildon, we had a grand total of four inches. Maybe five in "drifts". Inches, not feet, not yards, not meters. Roads are closed nationwide, outlets like the BBC and Sky News, plus local and national radio stations are reporting on the "Snow Chaos". Teachers are "unable to get into work" because of the snow, and so school are closed. Except Jaysens hehe. Parents are keeping kids off school because it's "too dangerous to go out", then proceed to wrap up junior and tell him to piss off out and play in the snow while it lasts.

It's not even 1pm and it's already melting. It wasn't even cold out this morning. Yes, the roads were a bit gross, but with people driving like prats, it's no wonder there were accidents left right and center. And when I say "Accidents" I mean cars skidding into each other at low speeds. Sliiiiiide-bump-shit. The airports in southern England were closed this morning and are slowly reopening.

And now! NOW it's melting, the weather reports are for sleet/rain this afternoon, which will all freeze tonight in cold temperatures. Minus three to minus six centigrade, not the minus double figures some countries have. Anyway, the stuff melting tonight will freeze and create ice everywhere tomorrow. Which means more "Winter Chaos" and more schools closed and more kids off home because parents don't want to risk falling over... Parents put their kids in stupid fricking "fashionable" shoes, and wonder why the kids has wet feet after a hundred yards of walking. It's snow - it's frozen water, THAT'S why! Jaysen has - like his father - a pair of clomping stomping boots. Decent grips, waterproof, well made. He loves them. HIS feet aren't wet. Granted, he slips on his shadow, but still, common sense, people!

What is it about England? Honestly, at the risk of sounding like a real old bastard, I remember when I was a kid, we had lots of snow, and we used to trudge to and from school, play out in it at break time, get cold and wet, get a cold, slip and bump out elbows, and people would slog to and from work rain or shine. And yet here we are with a fricking dusting, and it all goes pearshaped. And you can bet it's because of the "ooooh be careful!" Nanny State with people suing everyone else because they fell in the snow. "The council should have gritted the pavements" or "The weather report was inaccurate" or whatever. Junior falls in the playground, it's the schools fault because the kids should be off school. Junior gets a cold - schools fault, heating was too low.

And on and on.

Honestly, I could rant and rave about this for HOURS. What are the British public turning into when four inches of snow stops everything. There were even the classic PANIC BUY BREAD! sorts in the bakers this morning. I'm watching snow melt, and there are people in front of me buying six loaves of bread in case they get snowed in.

Snowed In?! Put your boots on and WALK to the shops fifteen minutes down the road you bloody paranoid idiot.

Come on England, grow a backbone, wrap up warm, drive carefully, and stop wishing Summer were here already. I'm looking at you, gaggle of mothers around the school gate at 8.40am. The very same mothers that were crying about how hot last summer was, and "wouldn't it be nice if we could have some snow".


On the bright side, thanks to Bethy for making lots of snow for Tam to play in - she loved it this morning. Miguel, the tiny spanish midget-dog - well, he was not impressed. So Jo, in her wisdom, bought the little man a hoody. A little jacket with sleeves and a hood. Miguel, while looking like a prat, is now happy to go out and use the toilet. Bless. Photo later, unless I die in an Avalanche, freeze to death, or my dog-sled falls into an Arctic precipice.

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15 Responses to “Weather - Englands Achilles Heel”

Laney said...

Well, I'm at work, so you obviously aren't referring to me! I'm not doing anything mind you, because not one of our members has turned up. Lovely, peaceful, quiet office. :)

Anonymous said...

Hear hear, sir!

Anonymous said...

Miguel needed a jacket of some kind as the poor bugger refused to go out to the garden. As soon as I put his jumper on, he ran straight out the cat flat and began to pee for ages - our poor lil boy had been holding it in all morning!

Anonymous said...

cat flap, not flat... eurgh

Em's way said...

PMSL Miguel is a wussy !!
As to the snow .. couldn't agree with you more !!

Deni said...

Sorry to hear about your dump of are so lucky it was only a bit,last I looked out the front door it was snowing here again....since October 26th,2006....I am so sick of it!!!!!Deni

Anonymous said...

Good rant, dude! I hate the fact that we all get so surprised when it snows IN WINTER.

The Special Zipper said...

ah ... and we ambled down to the beach and Connor, Tarnya and I walked in the waves both in the morning and this afternoon. Just so you don't feel so bad, it was damn windy and we felt like we were being sand blasted on the way to and from the beach.

Anonymous said...

Dan, you crack me up.

I have to say that I agree with people making a big stinking deal about the weather they live in, and have lived in since time and anon! When we lived in New Jersey, all there had to be was a little dusting of snow and WHAM!! Everyone is at the store, stocking up for the next three weeks in case THIS IS THE BIG ONE! It drove me nuts! Doesn't anyone have an extra can or two of soup on their shelves?

Alan Fisher said...

I've been watching the news coverage of this with some amusement.

I've only just realised that it's never snowed in England before.

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

Gosh, it's been beautiful here in Vegas... most of the week it was in the 70's... today was a bit overcast ... but I love the rain.
When Mike and I were working out in the backyard this week ... I had to change into a t~shirt!

I feel for ya w/ the snow and all!!

*snicker snicker*

Gretchen said...

Feel's 'warmer' today as it's 18F (-8C).

One thing I can say about where we live, it's not such a big deal when it snows. Sure, the TV weather man makes a big deal out of it, but the average person just puts on the boots, hat, gloves, etc and trudges out. Not whining, no complaining. No big lines at the store. We're in Minnesota. It's supposed to be cold and snowy in the winter.

Hope it gets better for you!

Alan Fisher said...

you know, Dan, I may not leave comments very often, but I still expect to log in to your blog and be entertained by new stuff.

Finger. Get. With. Out. Daily. It.



Alan Fisher said...

oh, and PS. That didn't make sense to me either.

Alan Fisher said...

by the way, at the top of your blog....... I can't read it. Does that mean I'm not sexy?