Manly Skin

Being a man (Hey! I AM a man!) I do what most men do on a daily basis, but I do it every now and then. I shave. Of course, when I say "I shave" what I actually mean is I drag blades across my skin, rip off the hairs, make my skin red and sore, and then leave it for several days before I do it all over again.

Now, a few years back, I had a goatee, which I hate to say, was the source of much comedy. Mainly because most men can grow facial hair. Most. Not Dan. My lack of facial hair was (and still is) a source of much amusement, even to she who claims to love me. I hate to admit this, but at one point to make my goatee stand out a little more.......

I used mascara on it.

It has to be said, the goatee - while I like it because it hid a couple of my chins - was not the most universally liked item of my person. When Bethy was in hospital, I used to rub her hand on it and she's smirk even though she was heavily sedated. I shaved it off for her in the long run, and promised I'd not grow it back. But I digress.

Now, some guys shave in the morning, and by the late afternoon, they get a proverbial five o' clock shadow. I too get one of these, but it takes several days to be noticeable.

Anyway, this morning I shaved, and looked like I'd been slapped in the face. With a beetroot. And I have to say, I've tried almost everything. I've always had crap skin, and even today at a manly 31 years of age, I still get acne. As a teen, I tried everything to fix it but failed. Including a Chinese remedy which contained swallow droppings.

I think the guy sold it to me just to see if I used it.

I've tried blades, electric razors, the round philishave types, I've tried moisturisers, creams, sensitive this and that, a shaver that dispenses cream while shaving... And yet, here I am with a sore face. Again.

So next time you women moan that our skin is "a bit prickly" or "you look like you've been lost in the woods" remember - it hurts some of us!!

And if you have any ways of preventing this, lemmie know - and don't say "grow a beard" because I won't!

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10 Responses to “Manly Skin”

debbie said...

Oh honey,, if you want a more pricky face then shave every morning don't miss a day, the more you shave the more it grows,, my dad has to shave t times a day, My Martin shaves every 3 4 days cause he hates shaving not through lack of hair growth,, another thing is to shave with foam and a cut throat that will give you a smoother finish, and use rainwater to rinse your face in and yes boil it first, my grandad did every day use rainwater his face was really smooth,,

The Random One said...

I feel your pain. Literally.

I can't shave without breaking out in red bumps all over my legs. D:

Aaand if I don't use the right shaving cream, my legs itch terribly. :|

Still not sure how to fix the first problem. -.-

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Hey man,

I've had exsema from a very young age...And when the time of shaving came I tried many many different things...

I have two options for you...The first, is to use - Emulsifying Ointment...Better known as Aqeuos Cream... I don't mean use it after you shave....Put it on, while shaving...Applying to wet skin works very well...

Don't apply products after you've shaved, it only casuses irritation in the skins paws that you have opened...

The second option, is to go au natural, Don't use anything, no moisturiser, no shaving foam...Give them both a couple of weeks, and see which one does you any better...

Sam

The Special Zipper said...

I wouldn't complain about the lack of growth (disregarding the skin issues). I have a five oclock shadow after I have shaved. I have used three blade and even Shick Quattro (or whatever it is with four blades), go up and down and whilst the skin feels as smooth as a babies bum (assuming the baby doesn't have nappy rash), I still have a damn shadow. By lunch time the stubble is well on its way.

I wish I could stay at 1 - 2 days growth as that feels and looks reasonable but after that it just gets too damn prickly.

Now .. that advice you were after ....

Unknown said...

gently scrub your face with a loofah or facial scrub lotion. this scrub helps remove dead skin, bring out ingrown hairs, and reduce razor burn rashes.

shave after taking a shower. warm water and steam help soften skin and facial hair. wait about 20 minutes after getting up before shaving, as this will allow bodily fluids that have welled in your face during the night to disperse.

use new, sharp razor blades, and be sure to discard them before they become blunt. wet the skin and lather the entire area to be shaved with a quality shaving cream or gel and let it sit on the skin for a few minutes before shaving; this will increase the softness of the facial hair and will reduce the skin irritation.

shave with the grain of the hair in short, deliberate strokes and rinse the blade after each stroke. shaving against the grain increases the odds of ingrown hairs, irritation, and inflamed skin. long strokes often cause one to press down too hard on the skin, increasing razor contact and making razor burn more likely.

avoid passing your razor over the same area of your face numerous times. each pass of the razor removes (and therefore irritates) small layers of skin.

wash your face well in cold water after you've completed shaving to remove all traces of shaving cream. this helps close pores and lessen skin irritation.

apply a facial moisturizer or aftershave lotion to help keep the skin soft and reduce the presence of razor burn. various skin types respond to different things. since your skin is so sensitive, try aloe vera to start off with. its cheap and its the most gentle moisturizer you can get.

when you're finished, rinse the blade or soak it in isopropyl alcohol and store with the blades facing up.


yes, it sounds like a lot of work, but trust me...i give this kind of advice for a living now...

hope it helps.
x

Dan said...

thanks for all the tips chaps :)
Cass, I'm going to try that in the morning. Even if it kills me. But I am very poorly of course :D

Unknown said...

suck it up, be a man.

:D

wow, i just noticed. me = brutal as of late.

debbie said...

have any of these tips worked Dan?

Anonymous said...

Wet shaving is a fun hobby, and less irritating to your skin. Use one blade instead of multiple ones to reduce irritation. Look up wet shaving online!