Happy Birthday For An Angel...

If you've not been reading 0ddness for long, then you won't know the significance of today.

Today, January 15th, is the day my late daughter Bethany was born, back in 2001.

Today, she would have been eight years old, and I can only imagine what a feisty little lady she would have been.  She would have an older brother to boss around, and would be using Tamsyn as a decoy or accomplice to get into trouble.

I have no doubt that somewhere up in the clouds, she is running around, playing with the other children up there, giving her wonderful cuddles to those that need them.  Wrapping her arms around them and squeeeeezing ever so tightly for someone so tiny, her warm breath on the side of their neck, whispering that she loves them.

And when she is done with the cuddle, she will skip off back to whatever she was doing, dancing and spinning, singing at the top of her lungs, letting everyone that can see her or hear her, know that she is the happiest little angel of them all.

I miss those cuddles.  I know that one day I will get them again and that I will hold her so tightly and tell her in person once more how much I love her, and how much I've missed her.

My darling little Bethy,
I can't believe you would be eight today.  My mind of late has been thinking about how big you must be getting, and how beautiful you are.  I can only hope and wish that today you are having even more fun, playing lots of games, singing and dancing or even causing mischief in the way that only you could.

It feels like only yesterday that you were born on that clear crisp January morning in London.  How there was so much worry and panic surrounding you when you arrived, only to quieten down when things didn't seem as bad as first thought.

I remember holding onto you as tightly as I dare - after all, you were only a dinky little thing - and wishing with every fibre of my soul that I could protect you and keep you safe and see you live to be a hundred.  Even now I still apologise to you, when I am feeling low.  But you know that.  I know you come here to see me every now and then, how you give me one of your great big cuddles while I sleep and dream of you, sitting on my lap on the stairs, talking about how happy you are, and how much fun you can have up there.

I know one day we'll be back together.  One day that cuddle will last longer than it does in my dreams.  I just wish I could have those cuddles from you in person.

One day, but not yet.  I've still got so much to do here.  Jaysen still misses you, and Tamsyn... Well, I'm sure you visit your little sister and give her ideas.  She knows all about you and tells people how much she loves her big sister.  But for now, I have to look after them, keep them safe.

Happy birthday Bethany.  I just wish you could be here to celebrate it.

I see you baby...
x

 

Less than an hour old...

 

Bouncing on the sofa

First steps

Laughing on my lap!

Posing at Xmas

Dressed for a wedding

 

More Xmas posing!

 

Feeding her dolly

 

Dr Bethy

 

Bedtime with Pink Bear