Strange Bedfellows

Some evenings I strike it lucky.

Let me rephrase that, you dirty minded so-and-so.

Some nights, the kids decide that instead of sitting up till bedtime, then actively resisting bedtime, that, after dinner, they would rather like to go to bed with a DVD and a glass of milk.

Yes sir, thank you sir.  Night kids!

It's the nights like these that I love, the kids are tucked in and settled early, and if Tam makes it to the end of whatever she's watching, she's done well.

This evening, they did just that.

So, when they get into bed early, I too get into bed early.  Me and the Laptop.  The choice de jour is either Reign of Blood, a vampire web game that is far too addictive, as well as going through finding random mildly amusing images to giggle at.  At least, that was the plan.

The phone rings, and Mr James is calling.  Which is a miracle as my phone has been ignoring him the last few days.  Lucky for me, Orange customer service is very nifty, so when I called, they pressed a button, I got a text, turned the phone off, turned it back on - fixed.

So, Mr James phones, and we're talking about serious matters.  M25 Traffic, how he's wearing sunglasses while driving in the rain, why he swore at bankers.  Very high-brow and world-changing matters.  However, all that changed when your adventurous and very very brave author yelped...

"Eeek there's a spider!"

I said eek.  I'm sorry.  I know you thought this amazingly talented chap was braver than a naked bank robber on PCP, but I eek'd.  I'm man enough to admit it.

"What, don't you do spiders?" James asked.
"Oh I don't mind them -" I replied "- but not in f$cking bed with me!"

As I was saying this, I was vaulting across the bed for something - anything - to catch the hairy beast.  And it's true.  Spiders really don't bother me.  I know there are some of you that will probably eek as well when you see the pic down there...  Spiders don't bother me, but when this chap happily marched over the bed clothes and onto my pillow - MY PILLOW - then enough was enough.

Bed Bugs

THAT- my friends - is the chap trying to share my bed this evening.  And to put it into perspective, that shiny white object he is trapped in, that's a large china bowl.  I could hear him scraping in it for Christs sake!!

I think tonight I will sleep with a stocking over my head and mouth, just in case.  It might be a myth that you eat 8 spiders a year while sleeping, but none the less...