Sure-Fire

Here's an easy guide way to guarantee someone will knock on your front door.

Step 1: Stand at the kitchen sink
Step 2: Half-fill the kettle and, deciding that the inside is "a bit gross" swirl the water around.
Step 3: Empty the water, but let your brain confuse you and aim the swirling mass of water at your genitals.
Step 4: Step back, look down - then hear someone knock on the door.

Whether or not you answer is your call. If you DO, and the bad luck is countered with good luck, it will be someone trying to sell something.

Man From Sky TV: "Afternoon sir, can I interest you -"
Me, cutting him off: "Sorry, can't chat, had an accident."
MfS, looking down: "Oh, er, um, OK sorry bye!"

Here's the money shot:

Le Whoopsie Daisy

It is fair to say that Gravity is a sick, cruel mistress.

For many years, I have been fighting this mistress, She-That-Makes-Me-Fall-Down-And-Over-Things-Constantly, and it is obvious to most that this is a battle I am not winning.

Not by any stretch of any imagination.

However, sometimes, you have to wonder why Gravity alters things.

Case in point. If you're a D&D player, you will appreciate this. You drop a dice off the table, at low velocity, and it disappears under the table. You'll spend the next ten minutes trying to find it, only to discover it hit a worm-hole, vanished from our dimension and reappeared on the other side of the house.

In a smoking jacket, sipping a G & T.

If you work in an office, similar things happen to that pen that fell off the desk. It falls 3.5ft to the ground, warps at light speed, and ends up under the desk of that woman with the nice legs and short skirt, and the only reason you ended up under her desk was to get your pen back.

No, the sexual harassment people didn't believe me either.

My point is this. Kellie is currently a very unhappy little camper. See, months and months and months ago, we were impressed at the durability of our very very swanky phones. You may remember me drooling over it repeatedly, but, for those unaware, it's this:

Oooh sexy.

Back to the durability. Not long after moving in, Kellie managed to drop this phone down the stairs. Very top, to very bottom. No carpets. The bottom, I should add, is a solid floor too. Crash-Thump-Back-Crash.

It survived without a mark, scratch or problem. We were very impressed.

Last night, however, Gravity proved once more that she is a complete bitch.

Kellies phone managed to slip from the sofa seat. 1.5ft from top to bottom. Eighteen inches.

The screen shattered, from the bottom and stretching up about two thirds of the way to the top.

Kellie, it is safe to say, went through a metamorphosis at this point. Unlike, however, a caterpillar, she did NOT come out the other side a beautiful creature, but a very very very very very pissed of creature of satanic proportions.

She was NOT a happy bun-bun.

Suffice to say, last night was spent with me cowering in the corner trying not to make eye contact. This morning, she got up early and came downstairs like someone had woken her up and told her her bum DID look big in that dress.

The kids left early this morning. Sorry, did I say "left"... I meant "ran"

We trundled into town to visit the few phone repair shops in town which are akin to chocolate teapots and glass hammers... "It's really hard to get that part" or "I don't know" and "You have to buy the glass screen with the LCD screen so it costs loads" were the general replies.

Of course, this worked WONDERS for someones joy.

We came home and I had a poke around online, and found a company that can repair them for much less than the quoted prices, but we had to send them the phone. So, padded postage bags and Special Delivery later, Kellie is phoneless.

Or, rather, she WOULD be phoneless were it not for Molly letting mummy use her phone.

State of the art.... That's one way NOT to describe this phone:

Oooh Swanky!!

 Look at that. No WiFi, No Bluetooth, No GPS, No Camera, No MP3 (but YaY Polyphonic tones!), No Apps... And it has buttons! Honestly, it's amazing people used to adore phones like these!

Still, on the plus side, her proper phone should be back by Thursday or, more likely, Friday... And that means this phone won't need to be charged in the time she is stuck with it - Hurrah Battery Life!!

Now if you will excuse me, I am returning to my bunker before she reads this post and flays the skin from my body with just a single look...

/runs away

Passing Time #23

Best Headline For A While

You have six to chose from: Which is the best of all of them do you think?

Good ol' Sky News for getting straight to the point... And in case you want to know more, here's a link to that story. Nice!

Musical Movie Monday #138 - The Uprising

Yes, the title will give away the fact that this is a song from a movie.

However, usually, a good movie and a good soundtrack go hand in hand. I always think of The Matrix as an example. However, sometimes, the soundtrack is the main redeeming feature of a movie.

Last night, we watched The Darkest Hour. The will probably be spoilers ahead, so skip to the music if you so wish.

The plot: a pair of geeks arrive in Moscow to promote a travel app of some sort. They get stitched up, and go drown their sorrows in a bar. Meet some girls. Lights go out.

Alien invasion.

However, these aliens are invisible with the occasional flare of light. And they make people pop into dust.

Or, in other words, very little to spend on special effects. No BlArGlE I'M A MONSTER monsters, and no OMG DEAD BODIES! to deal with. So the aliens kill everything and the heroes hide out.

You know what, I don't even care that much. From the outset you can see who is going to survive and who (thankfully!) gets dusted by the gribblies. Plot Holes you could fall through aplenty, acting like you wouldn't believe - no, really, you wouldn't believe it...

Especially the end with the boat & submarine.

Awful movie BUT not as bad as Skyline. Or anything James suggests we watch.

However, the very last track playing over the credits was pretty damn good. Or, it was crap, but seemed good because it signalled the end of the film. Either way, thank goodness for this song!!

Pilot Hill - The Uprising

Define "Direct"

If you have been reading this blog for any period of time then, dear reader, you will know that I do not "do" fashion, and I do not "do" fashionable shopping. I buy stuff that is comfy, that I like, and will last me a while.

A couple of months back, my trusty Karrimor walking boots started to die on me. And by die, I mean, holes in the sole, bits falling off, the support being less than supportive and so on... In all, they were one of the best pairs of boots I ever owned and made it almost to the ripe old age of two years old.

Because I walk funny, and sometimes drag my feet, trip or stumble, my footwear needs to be supportive (not like Old Persons Shoes, but "Not Going To Twist Your Ankle" supportive) and because of how I walk, they need to be hard wearing. In the past, I've generally worn Dr Martens, or Para Boots or similar, but they always end up falling apart.

So. Dead Karrimor.

We made a fatal mistake, and went to SportsDirect in town to get me a new pair of boots. With money being tight, I opted for a cheaper pair of walking boots. I loved them, they were comfy and snug and supportive.

For a week.

Then the nice secure padding all vanished. Then the soles were cutting into my feet - the inner sole had worn down and my feet were on the bare support bits inside the shoe itself by the end of the fourth week.

Disgusted, I chucked them in the garden.

So I dug out a pair of old combat boots, but a strange thing seems to have happened. My feet appear to have shrunk a little. These nice big comfy boots suddenly rattled around on my feet. And, they weren't waterproof. AND they were very heavy and I was dragging my feet more than normal.

I had to get new shoes. So back to SportsDirect, the only place in town that sells decent boots. I umm'd and arr'd and found a nice pair.

"Can I get these in a size 12 please?" I asked the chap in the shoe department. He gets on the radio to get the stockroom chap to bring him a pair. Now, bear in mind, this shoe is on display. Ten seconds later, he comes back to me. "Sorry, we've not got any of those in stock in any size."

Oh... So I spent another ten minutes fiddling with shoes and low-and-behold, I find another nice pair. Back to the chap, size 12 please. Now again, bear in mind this is on display with "Available in sizes 6 to 13!"

Brilliant.

Ten seconds later, he comes back. "We've got them in size six only?" and yes, he poses it as a question... So I ask for a size 12, he's got size six, do I want them. Unless there's some trick to adding shoe sizes to make YOUR size, I'm not sure what he's getting at.

"Um, no thanks..."

"Try the online store!" he suggests. I nod.

And I stomp out.

I get home - wearing big heavy clumpy boots still - and go to their website. Special offers and big flashy pictures so offer after offer, but I don't care. I go to the Karrimor section and go to the boots I liked in the store. Click Add to Basket. Oh, forgot to select size...

Size 8 only.

FUUUUUUUUU.....

So I go to my second-choice pair. Click Add to Basket, size 12? Result! Click Check Out.

Sign Up? Sign In? Use your Amazon Account?

Oooh I hate signing up to sites to buy ONE thing, so I use my Amazon site login. It has a think. The page reloads aaaaand... Welcome to SportsDirect! What you wanna buy? Basket? empty.

Back to the boots, click buy, size, checkout, sign up... Go all through the rigmarole of signing up, click Submit... Wait a bit... Waaaaaiting... Welcome to SportsDirect! You buy stuff now?

ARGH GAH RAAAANT!

Last chance, I go to Ebay. On here, they have LOADS of different ones, and I struggle to choose between three different pairs. All available in my size too! 

YIPPEEEE!

I get Kellie to help out with which ones look best, click Buy It Now, checkout, delivery options? For an extra £7 I can get them within 24-48 working hours! Woot! I work through it, it's 10am Wednesday morning NOW, so 10am Thursday morning (not likely) or 10am Friday morning? OK, it's an all-day delivery appointment, but I figure Friday is good, otherwise it'll be a week.

I need these boots NOW. Actually, I needed them when my first pair died on me, but hindsight sucks ass.

So, Buy It Now, 48hr delivery, PayPal, clickity clicky, SOLD! to the fat man sobbing with joy at having finally purchased a pair of shoes.

Now we fast-forward to Friday. I check the delivery ticket on the courier tracking place and see the words "In Transit" at 8am today from Chelmsford. Yippee, they're only 30 miles from me! But, it's an all day appointment, 7am till 9pm. Patience, young one.

I do the morning school run, leaving a note on the door to give any deliveries to my neighbour. I get back, no delivery. I WANT to do the back garden (aka, Jungle) but can't go out as I won't see or hear the door while strimming/mowing. I potter around the house - I AM quite knackered, but take it easy while I clear up and plod through housework. I don't put music on so I don't miss the delivery.

The day ticks by - at one point, I see one of their vans down the road and think "YAY!" but he sits there for almost an hour drinking tea and reading the paper then buggers off. Phooey.

Second school run is HELLISH, but I leave a note again to deliver next door. I get in, nothing. Now I am a sad panda.

I wait and wait, I do dinner, and I wait some more.

7pm arrives, the delivery status still says "In Transit" so I figure I will call them, just to make sure they've not done a Royal Mail and claimed to have attempted delivery... Using the number on the website, I call through and after being told they are charging me 10p a minute, I spend a quarter of an hour on hold. Finally, someone answers, asks for the tracking number...

"Oh, this is HDNL, you want to call Yodel"
"I AM calling Yodel, this is the number on the Yodel Contact Us page"
"Oh, well, we are merging companies, but you need to call someone else."

I take a breath, it's not her fault, it's not the fault of the couriers, this is ALL SportsDirect doing. "I will put you through myself" she tells me, probably because I am exuding waves of snarly noises. Another ten minutes on hold. The lady asks for the number, I give it, say I can see it's in transit, how much longer do I have to wait?

"Oh, that isn't being delivered today sir" she tells me. "That's not due to come out till at least Monday."

You. What?

So I explain the fees I have paid and everything, and that pretty please I can see it is only down the road. But no, Monday is my delivery day. She'll "Make Sure Of It"

Now I am properly pissed off. I've just spent another few quid being told "LOL no boots for you!" so I figure I will contact them through Ebay. I click the "Where's My Order" button, and Ebay says "This delivery will be with you on or by 25th May" just to rub salt in the wound. "Did This Help" No, it did NOT. So I click the Contact Seller button and use almost all the spare characters writing to them and telling them what I think of them.

Send.

Sort it you bunch of mup... I got a mail already?!

"Thanks for contacting SportsDirect! We're now out of the office till Monday...."

The red haze blanked the rest of the email...

So to sum up...

• My original "Replacement Shoe" purchase fell apart in just a month.
• The store has sod all in stock despite signs to the contrary.
• The website is shite on a stick and probably coded by a courgette.
• The "Pay With Amazon" thing on there is akin to pressing "Delete My Order LOL!"
• Signing Up on their site is on par with selling kidneys on the black market.
• Their Ebay site advertises Fast Courier Delivery which means "Almost A Week"
• When you try contacting them, you might as well be trying to phone The Pope.

SportsDirect, you wonder why you get so much bad press? THIS is why. Your own boss called city investors "a bunch of cry babies" when they invested in your opposition.

Get a grip. Answer my mail. Refund my postage costs. Or you can shove your boots straight back into your rank little stock room out back.

Yes. There.

How To Feel Old

If you're a young spring chicken like me *cough* then you might have been one of these hip cool things that remembers the band Blink 182, and their brilliant album, "Enema of the State"

Comedy gold word play, right there...

But anyway, this morning on Twitter, Sam retweeted the following image, and I was so taken aback, I had to share it. Prepare to feel old. Remember the cover of that album had the young woman in a nurses uniform?

Of course you do.

Well, here's her then, and beside, her now.

Yes, we're getting old.

Physically, anyway.

Musical, er, Whatever #137 - Islands In The Stream

As a general rule, covers of songs tend to, well... Suck Bum.

Oh don't get me wrong, I quite like some of the different covers out there, but for the most part, people get their "Artistic License" and run riot with it and in the end, beat to death something I liked.

However, there are exceptions.

I don't know if they "have" it in America, but over here, Red Nose Day is a Comic Relief charity for raising lots of money for various things. Generally, it's an excuse for celebs to jump in and do silly stuff for charity. A lot of them don't seem to mind making fools of themselves which is nice to see ;)

I don't know why, but this has been stuck in my head for the last couple of days, playing over and over in true Earworm fashion.

So I am sharing with you, even if I couldn't be arsed on Monday to post it.

Be warned - I can't find a decent version that is just the song - so you've got the four-and-a-half minute run up to it. The song starts at 4mins 40seconds or so.

Love it.

Comic Relief - Islands In The Stream

Passing Time #22

A Milestone

So, today was The Day. After taking my first day "Off Sick" on 31st May 2000, and seeing doctors and specialists and clinics and professionals, and trying different medications and techniques and remedies and everything else you can think of, I have finally been told "This Is What Is Wrong With You"

Let me backtrack. I have been dreading this appointment today. Properly dreading it. I suspected I was going to be told "it's all in your mind" or "this is the wrong place, let me refer you to..." or worse-case "Faker!"

I've been stewing on it and worrying. Kellie has been doing her best to keep me at an even keel, but last night I hardly slept at all.

We had a rather busy weekend, helping the 0dd Mother-in-Law empty her loft for re-insulation, then Sunday we spent the day at the park with Clare (Kellies friend from school) and an assortment of children. I was knackered.

On the plus side, it meant that today, they could see me on an "off" day, so when I said "I have no strength in my hands or arms" they could see I actually had no strength in my hands or arms.

The questions and questionnaires I had to fill out were a little daunting and I kept getting confused on them, but had Kellie with me to help with them. Pain, Energy Levels, Concentration, Moods, Mental Stuff, other Medical things...

We sat and I told the doctors (there were two in there with me!) exactly how I felt, how fed up and miserable I am, how I am with my pain, how I was before I was ill... And, as per my other half, I had to tell them properly or she would tell them. And by that, I mean she would have said "The dozy git wears himself out by doing too much because he's a knob-head and I tell him not to do this stuff and I tell him to let me help but does he listen oh no because Dan knows best and blah blahblahblah..."

Sod. That.

It took them a few minutes to agree that I do in fact fall quite merrily slap bang in the middle of a diagnosis for ME/CFS. With all the mental stuff, the concentration, the lack of energy, the pain and generally feel shit all the damn time, it's "obvious to us that is what you have"

So how do I feel about it?

Mainly, I am relieved that finally I can say to people "THIS is what is wrong with me!" and not just let people think I'm a lazy bastard that doesn't want to work. I am happy they sat and listened and understood what I was telling them. I'm a little miffed it has taken so long. When they told me, it was all I could do not to burst into tears. I think Kellie knew, and took my hand and squeezed it.

I'm not sure how I feel to be honest. Time will tell, I suppose.

The plan of action now, is they have three departments: A Pain Management chap, a Therapist Lady... And... I can't think who the third was. The Pain Management bloke is also a physiotherapist, and will help out where he can, but because of "how I am" with my moods, anxiety, depression (which I admit, I hide very very well) and my brain-related stuff, I am seeing the Therapist first - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) to help me work through things.

They have also increased my Lyrica/Pregabalin dose by 50% so I am now on 450mg a day, and can go up to 600mg apparently.

I was open, I was honest, I answered all the questions truthfully and didn't hide anything nor make anything seem worse than it actually is.

So time will tell.

Thank you to my Kellie for being with me, for taking me, and for holding my hand. And thank you to Mand for messaging me on and off today to make sure I am OK and for understanding. Thank you to everyone that wished me well via Facebook & Twitter too...

And I will keep you posted as best I can with everything - not sure I will go into stuff with the CBT lady too much... Guarded as ever ;)

Kellies Photograph

Kellie took this the other day with her shiny new camera. I'm hoping it keeps the clarity and crispness when it uploads, but I love this picture loads.

Musical Monday #136 - We Are Young

Being that I am tired, miserable and knackered, I was really struggling with a Musical Monday post today. While flicking through my reading list, I noticed James has done his Musical Monday post, and I had a lookie & listen, and now...

Well, now, that song is the only song I can think of, and is now wedged in my brain. On the PLUS side, it is a really good song, plus the video is filled with Super-Slow-Motion stuff that I happen to really enjoy as well.

If I am brutally honest, I've never heard this song, let alone the band. They DO strike me as very similar to some of the bands I used to listen to in the mid-90s, such as Cast. I might be wrong, but still, it wouldn't be the first time.

Fun - We Are Young

Passing Time #21

Clicky to Embiggen

Belief

Do you know what is difficult? Being the way that I am - a sensitive soul at times - I find it most difficult when people look at me bumbling around, struggling to do whatever I am doing, and failing to get words out - and you can tell by their expression or the simple things that they say, that they have zero belief there is anything wrong with me.

I think in the world I can probably count the number of people that honestly believe there is something wrong with me on one hand. I'm not counting people that only go by what they read, but people that see me on a semi-regular basis. Some of them say innocuous things, some of them look at me in a way that is almost as loud as words.

I wish, just once, I could make people understand how I feel, how the lethargy takes over my body and drags me downwards. I wish I could make people realise how hard it is trying to read something when the brain fog has descended, reading and re-reading the same page over and over, trying to get it to sink in. How, doing what most people would consider to be a mundane task, my body is screaming in pain.

Last week, I hardly stopped for whatever reason, trying to keep on top of everything. The weekend was spent out and about, and yesterday - with the sun shining and it being warm - I mistakenly thought I would have enough energy to strim the front lawn and pull up the Knotweed out back. Halfway through the strimming I was knackered. By the end I was exhausted, and after I raked the grass and pulled up the weeds, I was exhausted. My hands and arms were burning from inside. I couldn't talk properly, my body doing it's "You Now Sound Drunk" party trick.

Usually, I would have had to walk Jaysen & Tam back to their mums, but the 0dd Mother-In-Law was present, so she threw me and Tam in the car and drove her back, then me home again.

Thank you, 0dd Mother-in-Law. And congrats to her on doing her 5k Walk For Life yesterday too!

Today, it was all I could do to shower and dress myself. I struggled with my hair, so gave up and tied it back only semi-brushed. That'll be fun to brush out later. I am doing nothing today - well, not till the evening, anyway with Cubs & Beavers - and am not sure that I could do much if I HAD to.

I'm in shit loads of pain. I am fully exhausted. I can't concentrate. Were it not for Firefox & Blogger spell-checking, this post would be littered with mistakes I am not noticing until they are highlighted.

Today, I am miserable. I want to curl up and cry, and I want someone to not only believe that I am broken, but to understand it too.

I have 8 days until I get to spill all this out to the specialist clinic. Eight days. I am hoping they will be able to prescribe something, anything,

Most of all, I want people to believe what I tell them, not assume I am a lazy scrounger that does nothing because I enjoy it.

Dinner!

Last night, in a shock move, Kellie and myself did something social and went to a very old friends house for dinner!

Dave and I met waaaay back in the dim distant past at college, and have been friends ever since. For some reason, we drifted out of contact with one another about ten years ago, with nothing more than the occasional email or message-passed-on-from-a-mutual-friend here and there.

Then, thanks to the wonders of stalking Facebook, we found once another again, and chatted shit at random. Then we both ended up having the same messaging app on our phone, and take the piss on a regular basis. Despite all this chatting, we still hadn't met up after all this time, and after a bit of plotting and planning, we sorted this weekend to meet up, and for Dave to cook...

I should start by spoiling the ending and saying "It's OK, no one dies" but you never know what the next few days might bring. None the less, Dave made a chilli which smelt lovely when we arrived and we sat chatting about random stuff and taking the piss.

He's not grown up much either. Balder, but that's about it.

He admitted he had some issues with the chilli, but that was all good - I'll eat anything. Then he started to make the rice, and things went downhill from there... First, according to the packet instructions, he had added enough rice for "four people" but it was obvious that A) that was not enough for four adults, and B) there were five of us there for dinner. At my behest, he added more.

Approximately a tablespoons worth...

Once it was "cooked" and he started draining it, it was very obvious there wasn't enough to feed a starving hamster, let alone five adults. The portion sizes varied wildly from "a bit" to "a childs portion" Bless him, he ended up have precisely zero grains of rice with his dinner...

So, with the rice pudding splattered on the plate, the chilli was added and we all ate our dinner - Dave being the centre of attention. Or, rather, the target of the conversation/mocking.

This was mine - after he mopped up the "fluid" escaping from within

With dinner eaten - and large side-orders of mockery - Dave then turned to dessert which he had made with us in mind, knowing we are dieting. Slimming World Syn-Free Lemon Meringues. They were very nice, despite our near-constant mocking as well him admitting he failed to read the instructions properly, and added an extra third of required sweetener.

Bless.

Nom

After dinner was buried eaten, we sat and had a couple of drinks and laughs before the Buzz! game came out for the PS3. Considering there was five of us, Dave had the simple task of connecting two sets of Buzz controllers to his PS3.

Also, keep in mind Dave is much of a geek as me. Technical stuff is his bread & butter, as it were.

Set one of the controllers connected no problem. Set two, however. Nah. Didn't want to know. He was plugging and unplugging, blowing connectors, rebooting the PS3, swapping batteries, cursing, swearing - all while we were sat back offering helpful advice.

No, wait, taking the piss. All while we were sat back taking the piss.

The highlight of this moment was the view. All while we were sitting and waiting patiently, all we could see was this:

And if that image isn't clear enough for you, here is Daves builders backside a bit clearer for you:

My Eyes! My EYES!

Eventually, Karen decided that the four remaining "adults" could play and she would help. And by help, she tried distracting Dave as much as possible because he's a dirty cheater.

I've never played any of the Buzz! games, but you get a little controller to answer your questions with in a General Knowledge/Assorted Trivia sort of game. Somehow, I managed to lead both games all the way through, while Dave & Kellie stole points from one other and threw pies at each other.

On the game, I should add. There were no pies present at dinner.

However, both times - despite my leading - I lost all my points in the final round, leaving Dave the winner of both games.

Turns out he plays it all the time, and happens to know a lot of the questions. Smarmy git.

Then out came SingStar. I should point out now that, at no point in the history of ever, have I taken a mic and sang into it. Nu uh, no thanks. Dave & Karen played first, then Dave & Kellie, and then a mic was thrust at me.

And I seized up! Nu uh, no thanks! I just can't do it. I had to have Kellie back me up and point out that I don't sing without a mic, let alone in front of people!!

After that, he showed us a few games on his PS3 (as Kellie is itching to borrow some in the near-future!) and messed with the 3D TV he has, playing with the settings and just chatting about tech stuff.

Despite the mocking and piss-taking, we had a great night, and it was really great to catch up, as well as getting to meet Karen (who is lovely, by the way, and it's amazing that she contained her "Stab Dave In The Eye" rage all evening!).

Were this an episode of Come Dine With Me, I am sure Dave would have lost a few points, and even had his Bullet Proof Toilet Paper Guard mocked on national television!

Bzzzzzzzz...

In January 2005 - just before Bethany went into hospital, I had a hair cut. It was messy, it needed doing, and as I didn't know how long the stint in hospital would be, I figured I best get it done.

Six weeks later, Bethy passed away following her complications, and since then, I have not had my hair cut, aside from one or two little trims. From root to tip, my hair is approximately 15 inches long.

And now, like I have been saying for a long time, it's all going - in the name of charity of course. I WANT to raise a lot - I don't want to have a handful of people donate a few quid and that be it. I want to raise a decent sum of money, and split it between The Evelina Children's Heart Organisation (ECHO) and Cancer Research UK. On top of this, my lovely locks will also be donated, probably to the Little Princess Trust - who make wigs for children that have lost their hair due to medical treatments.

I don't have a date as to when this will be - not yet. I want to get everything sorted FIRST, then start banding my SPONSOR ME!! drum and get the pledges rolling in. I will probably use a site like JustGiving.com as they accept money from overseas as well which means you lot in the US-of-A and you lot living Down Under can sponsor me too.

I am hoping that someone, somewhere, will be able to help out getting a company or similar to sponsor me too to make the sum a decent whack...

After everything ECHO did for Bethy in her short time - even for ALL the children they save day in, day out - I need to do something for them, I need to give something back... If it means I have a cold head for a few weeks, then so be it. I grew my hair because... well, I don't know why. I just couldn't face cutting it.  But now I need to cut it. I am don't like it any more, it's in the way, it's annoying - so I might as well do something useful with it one last time.

The only pitfalls I can see at the moment are the fact the JustGiving/VirginDonations don't seem to allow a balance to be split between two charities... I have messaged both support desks in a hope that there is a way around it. If it turns out I can't split the money, nor work out a safe/easy way to do so, then it will be ECHO the money is raised for.

Secondly, hair length is going to be a bit of an issue - I've never had it shorter than an inch or so, but to get the most hair off - and let's be honest, the best shot at being sponsored - I think I am going to have to have it cut RIGHT DOWN to the skin, military clippers style.

Which is why I am not going to jump in if it only raises a few quid. Sort of an All-Or-Nothing approach. I CAN'T part with my hair if the end result isn't a decent donation.

Luckily, I know lots of my Facebook friends said last time I mentioned this, that they would be sponsoring me, and I am sure a lot of you on Twitter will also donate something - plus if it gets retweeted enough and strangers wade in, so much the better. On top of this, friends and family have said they too will donate, and a couple of little shops around the corner have said I can put sponsorship forms in there to help get a few more quid...

As you can see, I've been a busy boy today trying to get this arranged, so watch this space, get ready to donate and spread the word. The more the merrier, after all!

Staying Positive

As is (or, at least, will be) usual for a Wednesday morning, I figured I would do a brief update on the diet. I was going to do it last night, but would have ended up throwing something out a window.

Last night, I lost weight, 2.5lb. Huzzah, Yippee, Woot and so forth.

However.

This last week, I have NOT stopped. I have been in and out the house, I have been eating fruit and salad. I have been on the go and sticking to the diet to the letter. I honestly expected about 4lb. That's not bragging, blowing my own trumpet or anything, I have worked HARD for it.

So, in the meeting last night, I was sat grinding my teeth.

Now, before you wade in and start telling me all sorts, I know 2.5lb is good. For most of the group, that's a LOT. Between the four of us going, we are seriously wiping the floor with everyone.

I just wanted more.

So that had my back up, and I was muttering and grumbling, and when it came to my turn to tell the leader how I felt about it, I let her know. I held back, but I let her know.

However.

Despite being a little, shall we say, hacked off, that wasn't what got my fires a-raging. No, the smouldering flames were stocked when a group of women sauntered in, faffed around, got weighed and then sat beside the four of us.

And unpacked a cooked dinner.

Yes folks, this group decided that sitting in a group of dieters, they would sit and eat. Pots, pans, boxes, plates, cutlery... I was shocked at first, then pissed off. How rude can you get?

And the icing on the cake was the fact they were then scoffing piles of ACTUAL CAKE!

I was really pissed off. THAT was the petrol that was thrown on my fire, so I properly had the hump last night.

I NEARLY considered getting loads of junk food and scoffing out, but decided no, I am better than that. So Kellie chopped up a load of veg, I hacked some chicken to death, and then gassed the house out with a Thai stir fry with chilli and lime noodles.

We then watched Horrible Histories on the telly. Yes, we watched a kids TV program.

This week, I am going to be extra careful. I'm cutting out sweeteners in my coffee, I am drinking more water, and am reducing my portion sizes... I will try "doing more" in the way of walking and what-not, but I risk doing too much and killing myself to the point I can't do any more. Vicious Circle :(

I am glad I lost weight. A loss is a loss, and 2.5lb is a good loss. I just hoped for more.