Bloody Busy Day

Today has been ONE OF THOSE DAYS.  Yes, I am using capital letters.  And the worst part, is it's only just gone half eleven...

This morning, I got up with Kellie, pottering around while she got ready for work.  Yesterday was another busy one, so today, the plan was feed the animals, sort a couple of loads of laundry, have a quick hoover, then flop out and be done with it.

And there-in was the flaw in my plan.  The fact I decided to do nothing for the rest of the day.  That, dear reader, is when things started going wonky.

After Kellie left for work, I put on a wash load, stuck the wet clothes in the tumble dryer, and set to feeding the dog and noticed that she is moulting like it's going out of fashion.  So, I swept up her hair, and cracked out the hoover.  To and fro, backwards and forwards... The stuff on the carpet didn't budge.  Great.  So I checked through the visible pipe... Nothing.  No clogs or anything.

Not that I was expecting to see wooden shoes, but still.

So, next step.  Pah, dismantle it to get to the pipe inside.  Pulled it all out, nothing.  While doing this, the tumbler - on a 60-minute cycle - turned off.   I checked the clock - fifteen minutes had passed by.  So, while mentally muttering to myself thinking the tumbler was next on the Dismantle Agenda, I set to banging away on the hoover.  Got it back together, and just to make sure I'd fixed it right, hit the power button and...

Nothing.

So, what had I done wrong?  I only removed three screws and a pipe for heavens sake!

It was a that point my brain whispered "The whole house is a bit quiet isn't it..." and it was true.  Aside from Dom & Molly playing in the living room, the house was silent.

The washing machine was off too.

OK, so clearly I'd not broken the hoover, but, apparently, everything.

I looked at the hoover and noted that, no, I had not touched anything wirey-electricaly-sparky or anything nasty.  No near-death for Dan today, no no.

The electrics had tripped in the house.  Great.  So, I unplugged the hoover thinking that was the culprit, flicked the fuse switch, and it went again.  Not the hoover.  OK, must be the tumbler then - it turned off.  Unplugged the tumbler, flicked the switch... And off it went again.

Oh for fff...

Took a breath and set to looking at everything plugged in.  Unplugged the laptops, the TV/Wii/DVD, router, phones, phone chargers...  So now the kids are joining in.  Everything I unplug, I hit the tripper switch and it goes right off again.  Kids are sent upstairs to disconnect everything.  And now I'm looking around thinking "There are only two appliances left, both of which are kinda necessary...

Everything in the house is now off and unplugged.  Everything, that is, bar the old fridge freezer, and the new washing machine.  To add to the pressure, Kellie has a shed-load of shopping being delivered this afternoon.  So, I disconnect the fridge, hit the tripper.

Power died.

It's the bloody washing machine.  The bloody washing machine she's only had two months.  Luckily, not only is it still under warranty, but she rents.  Phew.  The downside, is that Kellie has work clothes that need washing, and the kids are on summer holidays - so washing is being generated at an exponential rate.

With Kellie at work, I phone the rental company.  When I FINALLY get through, I explain what's going on, and he tries the "Are you sure it's the machine, it IS new... Check all your other sockets -" I cut the git off.  No no, everything in the house - EVERYTHING - is off.  "Do you have any outside sockets that could be wet?"

After taking a breath, I explain that everything in the house is unplugged.  He puts me on hold, and comes back ten minutes later with an engineer booked for tomorrow..  Now, I've pointed out I am OUT tomorrow between 11 and 3 or so, and he claims to have noted this down.

Place your bets...

And you'd think that was my day over with?  Not by a long shot.  Kellie has also pleaded with me to defrost her freezer.  Now, that isn't an issue, until you realise the last time I defrosted MY freezer, I ended up breaking it and having to get Gemma to get me a new one.  As it is, Kellie has my old old freezer after her one broke down eighteen months back or so...

You can imagine my trepidation.

She explains to me the "easy" way to defrost a freezer.  Turn it off.  Empty it.  Put in a bowl of boiling water.  Shut door.  Wait.

Seriously...  I cannot see how that works, but I did.  TWO bowls of boiling water, door shut.  I decided that, instead of twiddling my proverbial thumbs, I'd set to draining the washing machine.  Remember, it died mid-cycle, so is full of wet clothes and gross water.  I pull the draining gubbins out and set to emptying it.

The opening of the pipe is - literally - five millimetres across.  Half a centimetre.  One-sixth of an inch.  I also have approximately of six inches of pipe to play with, so can't just stick it in a bucket.  I have to use a low dish and empty it a trickle at a time.

After half an hour and seeing there is still water in the drum, I decide to leave that be for the time being and check on the defrosting freezer.

I open the door and am greeted with... Ice.  Snow.  Icebergs, in fact.  The boiling water has made the top damp, and melted two circles into the shelves they are sitting in.  No defrosting is happening.

Bowls removed, I start using my bare hands to batter the ice off.  Almost ninety minutes later, I get the worst of it out.  My hands are red and swollen and scraped to buggery.  The food is on the side wrapped in towels and trying to melt.  So, I reboil the kettles and put the boiling water back in, and turn back to the washing machine.

Another hour passes and the machine is finally empty of water and clothes.  Bloody thing.  Open the freezer, and the last of the ice has in fact defrosted.  Opening the door, I was greeted with a tsunami peppered with icebergs.  Very pretty.

I mop up, dry out the freezer, switch it back on, close the door, finish clearing up the kitchen floor, push the washing machine back into place, clean the floor under the machine, check the freezer - it's getting cold already. 

You don't realise how panicky I was that I'd turn it on and it'd be dead.  Phew ;)

With the temperature plummeting, I stick the food back in, wipe the sides down, and finally, flop out with a cuppa.

Ten minutes later, Molly dive bombs Dom and hurts his leg.

I am, to coin a phrase, completely buggeringly shattered!!  In ten minutes, the kids will want lunch too.